Mums Unstuck

I don’t think you need me to tell you nagging, yelling and spanking children doesn’t work.

It doesn’t make you feel good, and it rarely makes your child behave better

It doesn’t help them do homework assignments or complete their homeschool studies

It doesn’t help them tidy their room or pick up their shoes from the front door.

And it certainly doesn’t stop them fighting with their siblings!

So why do so many mumas continue to use the same ineffective parenting strategies even though they often cause stress and hurt for both YOU and your children?

You try to stay calm

You try to stay cool

You try to stay in control

But you can’t help it! It’s like a button is pressed and BOOM, an instant regression to what you know -nag, yell, scream, confiscate everything and grounded for a month. Anything to make the kids know you mean business and you WILL be obeyed!

Maybe you HAVE tried the “positive parenting” way.

You understand respectful parenting focuses on long-term results that raise strong, independent, capable and responsible adults rather than short-term fixes that don’t.

But you still find yourself unable to control your anger and so you’re left thinking these strategies just do not work

If you find this is you, you might want to consider that you need to “reparent” yourself to parent your kids

You might need to do a little inner work to understand WHY you react the way you do and WHY you have those triggers

You might want to address what’s going on deep inside you, so you can reparent yourself with compassion, love and trust

Mums Unstuck is a phenomenal membership community for Muslim mums who want to work on their personal growth alongside enhancing parenting skills and insight to help children reach their best potential, insha’Allah.

We do the inner work to understand the emotional woundings that unleash your anger, and start to break through the limiting beliefs that entrap you as you skill-up…because when you grow, your children grow too

When you feel good about yourself on the inside, you walk different, you talk different, you PARENT different

Ready for change?
Join us before Jan 31st to lock in the best offer - new member prices increase Feb 1st
Www.mumsunstuck.com

I hear a lot from worn out mumas how they don’t know who they are anymore.

A sense of lost identity.

Social media will have you believe you can “refind” yourself…. But I see it another way.

You haven’t lost yourself.

You just haven’t yet leaned into who you are now because you think you should be something different

Stop ruminating on the “loss” of who you were before children—it’s holding you back from embracing the incredible woman you are now.

Motherhood changes you, no doubt about it. But mourning the old version of yourself keeps you stuck, blind to the growth, the strength, and the wisdom you’ve gained.

You’re not the same woman—you’re not supposed to be

You’re not going to be the same care-free young girl because now you have responsibilities.

The carefree girl is not who your children need.

The carefree girl is not who you need either.

You’re someone stronger, someone with deeper purpose, someone who’s navigating challenges and building a legacy through your children.

Don’t waste time longing for what was, because you’re stealing from yourself what is NOW

Start leaning into who you’re becoming.

Look at the woman in the mirror and ask: Who am I now? (Not who did I used to be?)

Ask yourself: What do I want to build from here?

WHO do I to be now?
What do I want to DO now?
What do I want to HAVE now?

Embracing this grown-up version of yourself doesn’t mean forgetting who you were—it means honoring your evolution from girl into woman, and making space to grow into the next chapter.

Growth happens when we move forward, not regress backwards

The future you is waiting, but she can only show up if you let go of trying to relive and stay the past.

🖤

🩷 It's all in the slides

➡️https://storage.googleapis.com/msgsndr/Zm1FP8bUCkirJ06mlIEm/media/67938909b7d13a72bd2fa6cf.pdf

As women many of us fall into the self talk trap (AKA waswas) that whispers we are not good enough, not worthy, and that someone else can do it better.

We put ourselves down and don’t believe in our capabilities, so stay stuck.

We feel stuck.

And we show we are stuck with constant low motivation and constant low moods, governed by our constant assessment of self doubt.

The thing you MUST wake up to is that your life was not a mistake.

We were each created with purpose.

With the same ability for potential.

Some of us lean into that potential, some of make excuses for avoiding it, and some of us have got a little lost and forgot we have it. But we do.

Stop believing the voice that doubts and start listening to the voice that believes.

That’s the voice that will help you get unstuck and propel you toward your dreams, bi'ithnillah.

🧡Getting children to talk sometimes can feel like a game of tug-of-war—you pull and pull, but they just won’t budge.

The harder you try, the more they shut down.

Here’s the secret: it’s not about pulling harder; it’s about creating a space where they feel safe enough to let go...

Most of the time, when children and teens don’t say much, it’s not because they don’t want to talk—it’s because they don’t feel safe enough to do so.

Safe from judgment.
Safe from overreactions.
Safe from being misunderstood.
Safe from another lecture.

Here’s a BIG question for you—and if you're serious about wanting to build positive lasting change, you're going to take it and answer it.

➡️ How safe do your children feel in their relationship with you?

Think about it:

❓What message have your reactions over the years given them?

❓What message has the time (or lack of time) you’ve spent together communicated?

We often assume that the parent-child relationship automatically means we have a relationship but does it really?

Relationships have to be nurtured constantly otherwise they fall apart.

To have trust and safety in a relationship, there MUST be intentional quality time together.

Without time, there’s no relationship.
⬇️
Without a relationship, there’s no trust.
⬇️
Without trust, there’s no safety.

If you want your children to open up to you, shift your focus. Instead of trying to pull answers out of them, focus on connecting with them.

To build connection:

✅Spend quality time together DAILY. These are your children—not colleagues!

✅Be genuinely interested in their world and what matters to them.

✅Have BIG juicy conversations about the stuff that matters to them..... not you!

And here’s the most important part: knowing that creating safety starts with you.

Your children need to know they can trust your response when they share, even if what they say is hard to hear.

If your reactions are rooted in anger, judgement and criticism, they’ll instinctively pull back. Silence will feel safer than opening up.

It’s not about being a "perfect" parent - none of us are.... it’s about being a safe one🧡

➡️Ready to be that safe parent?
Join me inside the membership and I'll show you how (join before Jan 31st to lock in the best offer - price increases Feb 1st)
www.mumsunstuck.com

FREE access ends today ladies!

If you want to join the membership but are unsure, take the first step with this FREE access to the first video from the 90 Day Intentional Parenting Tool Kit training...

I'll take you through a simple exercise that will make clear to you what it is you want AND just as importantly, what you DON'T want, as a muma....

There's about 12 hours left unill the video is pulled Once it is gone, it is gone!
https://mumsunstuck.com/want_in

We think parenting is about raising children, but the truth is, it’s much more about raising ourselves…

We raise our children upon the standards we accept and tolerate for ourselves.

The way we eat, the way we talk, the way we move, the way we behave, the way we interact with others, the way we express our feelings, the way we communicate, the way we hold down the home, the way we work, the way we worship Allah…

The way we talk to their father teaches our children how they should talk to him (and yes, equally, the way their father talks to us, teaches our children how they should talk to us)

All of it, shows our children what they should be, what they should do and what they should expect is “normal”

The hardest part of being a parent is raising ourselves, correcting ourselves, holding ourselves to account…. Because where we lead is where our children will follow.

We cannot be something different to what we are telling our children they should or shouldn’t be

We cannot do something different to what we are telling our children they should or shouldn’t do

We cannot have something different to what we are telling our children they can or can’t have

What does that mean?

If we are rude, aggressive and mean when dealing with the kids misbehaviour or mistakes, why would be expect them not to be?

If we blame everyone else for our anger instead of taking self-responsibility for how we react to it, why would we expect them to be any different?

If we are addicted to our mobile phones, why would be expect them not to?

99% of parenting isn’t about managing our children’s behaviour and emotions…

99% of parenting is about managing our own!

If you want your children to change, the first one who must change is you.

And when you work on changing yourself, be patient. Be patient with yourself because breaking old habits is hard work….

AND…

Be patient with your children…

You might be trying to be and do better today…

But they are going to need some time to catch up.

Be patient.

Keep going.

Ps.
Ready to take the first step toward building positive lasting change for yourself AND for your children?

Access the FIRST video training from the membership until Sunday (tomorrow) FREE with immediate access
https://mumsunstuck.com/want_in

Its funny.… here you're saying Telegram….

I asked this same question on the Mums Unstuck Whatsapp channel and the results were…..

Majority Whatsapp

Oh dear we have to think about this lol

Do not underestimate the importance of the early development years ukhti!!

What you’re laying down now when you have young children, are the seeds for what they will believe about themselves, others and the world as they get older.

In the West, we’re told to send our young children out into nursery so that they can “socially develop”…

❌Don’t buy into that!

❌You would never open the door to your home to allow anyone and everyone to enter…

➡️In the same way, when we send our young children out into nurseries away from us, we are opening their heart and mind for anyone and everyone to enter upon them, and place within it ideas, values and beliefs that THEY hold dear ….

….As well as dump all their own internal baggage upon your child

I hate to say this but we have to be brutally honest, not everyone who works in a nursery or in a school, you’d want taking care of your children. Not everyone working in a nursery or a school should be there. Some (not all), do more harm than good.

🚨This age is so incredibly important because it is at this stage that the foundation of their core beliefs and self perceptions are formed - and once formed, it is difficult to shake off

Not impossible
But certainly difficult.

Be careful what you allow to influence your children, and just as importantly, pay attention to what you allow to influence you.

🖤

To really break cycles, that means understanding everything that hurts you, hurts your children. So don't repeat those behaviours with your children.

The work you’re doing now may seem heavy, but know that you are planting a giant oak tree that, with the permission of Allah, will serve and shade others for generations. Don’t give up🖤

Please read this caption BEFORE leaving a comment on the headline slide so you UNDERSTAND what I’m saying here without taking the slide out of context 🖤

First let’s get any assumptions out the way…

❌I’m NOT saying that traumatic experiences you’ve faced whether in childhood or in present day should be ignored. What you resist will always persist. (I’m working towards a master’s equivalent in trauma informed coaching so I’m absolutely NOT saying that)

✅What I AM saying is, sometimes the challenges you face as a parent are simply down to not knowing what you don’t know….

As mumas we think that parenting should just come naturally…. that we should just “know” what to do….

But we don’t. We have to learn because being a muma takes knowledge and skill…

I remember with my firstborn, I thought nursing was a straight forward thing until I found myself struggling to get her to latch, and the midwife having to show me.

When it comes to any other field - medicine, teaching, engineering, counseling, coaching, ANYTHING - we recognise the need to intentionally develop knowledge and skills to perform the job

Yet when it comes to parenting, when it comes to knowing how to get the kids to listen, when it comes to correcting behaviour, when it comes to managing BIG emotions, we don’t see that same need of proactive skill development and instead, just cry ourselves to sleep thinking what “bad” mothers we are

Today everyone is talking about inner child healing and trauma. But not everything is about trauma….

Sometimes it is as simple as a missing skills issue and the awesome thing about missing skills - they are EASY to fill in 🖤

If this resonates with you, and you’d like to level-up your skill base so you CAN get the kids to listen without yelling and bursting a vein, I’m offering free access to the first video of the Intentional Parenting Tool Kit training from inside the membership - It Starts With You

Expires Sunday
Immediately access NOW 🖤
https://mumsunstuck.com/want_in

Want to raise confident, respectful kids?
Start by looking in the mirror.

Effective parenting isn’t about controlling your child—it’s about leading them. And the most effective leaders hold themselves accountable first.

Why?

Because children learn by watching, NOT by being told what to do.

Your actions, your tone, and how you handle challenges yourself, set the example they’ll follow.

You establish what is “normal”

If your normal is to yell, and scream and rant and rave when you’re frustrated, then don’t be surprised when you see the kids doing the same…

To positively influence your children, you FIRST have to be able to positively influence YOURSELF 🖤

I have something for you to help you start to work on this positive influencing of yourself….

This week I’m offering the free access to the first video from the Intentional Parenting tool kit training, giving you a simple but powerful exercise to kick start your intentional parenting know-how…

To get IMMEDIATE access
⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

https://mumsunstuck.com/want_in

Grab your cuppa ☕️ and print the worksheets above the video before you play…. You’ll need them to complete the coaching exercise 🖤

I don't advocate Gentle Parenting..... here is why.....

Ladies!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve NEVER offered this before and I don’t know if I’ll ever offer it again…..

BUT…..

For this week only, I’m offering FREE access to the first video from the Intentional Parenting toolkit training so you can “try before you buy”!

If you’re curious about the membership and want to have a tiny taste of what’s behind the digital doors, now is your chance!

Access ends Sunday!

Enrol now with IMMEDIATE access… no waiting around!

Yella let’s go!

https://mumsunstuck.com/want_in

🖤

This is your reminder.... You’re in charge

You’re the parent

You set the rules, limits and expectations....

It’s your responsibility to uphold them not your children’s....

Firmly = without giving in
Kindly = without being mean and aggressive

Children follow where you lead, so if YOU allow them to enter into power struggles with you, they will.

If YOU don’t allow yourself to enter one, they can’t.

I know that it isn’t anywhere near as easy as this and is much easier said than done...

So if you want to know how you can do this without losing your cool, I’m doing something I’ve NEVER done before (and don’t know if I will again)…

I’m giving FREE Acess to the first video from the Intentional Parenting Tool Kit training this week!

Turn your notifications ON because I’ll be sharing the access information later today insha’Allah 🖤

Proactive mumas understand that being intentional in how we show up for our children IS NEVER about being perfect; it’s ALWAYS about being present, prepared, and purposeful.

These mumas aren’t afraid to reflect on what’s not working, so they CAN learn new tools or fill the skill gaps and make changes that they want to see

They lead with curiosity, take ownership of their OWN reactions, and refuse to let old patterns define their parenting.

✨ Proactive mumas:

💪Focus on finding the solution not ruminating over the problem

💪Show their kids what accountability and growth look like in real life by leading with self accountability

💪Aren’t reacting to the chaos instead they’re intentionally bringing the calm

💪Use their past experiences that hurt, as fuel to build a better future fisabillAllah for themselves AND for their children

💪Make personal growth a priority because they know when they grow, their children grow and when they learn, their children learn

If that’s the kind of muma you want to be, start now. Not next week, not after you’ve ‘gotten it all together’—just now, with whatever step feels right.

Because proactive parenting isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about being willing to look for them. 💪

Who is with me???

What’s one small thing you can do today to take a proactive step forward?

Umm Khadeeja
Mums Unstuck

Look out for the enrolment link coming TOMORROW inshaAllah!! 🎉

🚨Join the BEST parenting and motherhood growth community for Muslim mumas online!

⭐️You don't need to figure it all out alone!

🛠We’ll give you the proven tools practical strategies, and dedicated support to handle everyday parenting challenges with confidence so you can say goodbye yelling at the kids (AND at yourself), allowing you to ENJOY motherhood instead of wanting to hide from it!

➡️Real change comes from making dua' and taking the means to tie your own camel.

💪Membership is for mumas who are ready to take that first practical step towards transforming your parenting journey and value continuous self-improvement, insha'Allah.

💪It's for mumas who know that by changing yourself, you can positively change your entire family trajectory for generations to come, with the permission of Allah.... because where you lead, is, typically where your children will follow.

💪It's for mumas who know parenting begins with you. When you change, your children change.

❤️‍🩹Mums Unstuck isn't just about raising your children, it's about raising yourself along with them too.

💕Mums Unstuck is HERE to support you, so you can be THERE for your children

❌No more sleepless nights questioning "am I doing the right thing?".

❌No more guessing what you should be doing next!

❌No more feeling stuck and out of control!

❌No more social media scrolling that adds to the overwhelm!

🖤Take back control of your your children, your home and yourself so you can ENJOY motherhood instead of constantly feeling STRESSED by it

Are you ready to make the shift?

Join the membership today!
https://mumsunstuck.com/

Asalaamu alaikum ladies,

I've NEVER done this before and I don't know if I ever will again...

Starting Monday I'm giving a 7 day FREE access pass to view the first video from the 90 Day Intentional Parenting Tool Kit training that you get inside the membership.....

You'll walk away from this 30 minute training with 4 key exercises that will get your Intentional Parenting journey started! 💪

Excited? 🎉

Waiting for the poll numbers to go UP ✨

I want to see if there is enough interest!!!!

Who is in? 🫶

https://www.mumsunstuck.com

This has got to be one of the BIGGEST complaints I hear from mumas….

They tell me, “I ask them so nicely, I talk to them so gently, but they never listen UNLESS I shout!”

Ahhhh, I know the struggle and I know the frustration….

I can tell you want you want to hear, or I can tell you what you NEED to hear….

If you find yourself repeating yourself a gazillion times “nicely” and your children aren’t listening UNTIL you shout and rant and rave…..

You’ve TRAINED them not to listen to you UNTIL you reach that point

The issue I see with the popular social media “gentle” parenting craze, is mumas are believing they can never be firm with their children….

They believe they must always be soft to the point they are literally PLEADING with their children to listen, and then when they don’t, it all blows up and everyone is left upset ….. you and the kids

So what do you do instead?

What do you do to get the kids to listen without yelling at them?

The answer to this isn’t something I can tell you in a couple of short sentences because there are multiple angles to look at

If you really want the answer and are ready to put the answer into practice with guided mentoring and support, join the membership www.mumsunstuck.com

What I’ll say here, as a very generalised advice, is it comes down to two main points:

➡️ Start saying what you mean and mean what you say the FIRST time round

➡️You MUST follow through with both firmness AND kindness together - firm meaning you uphold boundaries without giving in, and kind meaning you uphold those boundaries without being mean and aggressive about it

‼️Are You FREAKING OUT When Your Child Lies?

You catch them in a lie—and suddenly, it feels like the ground shifts beneath you because this ISN'T how you have raised them to behave!

Your mind races with fears you don’t even want to admit out loud:

💔“Does this mean they can’t be trusted?”

💔“If they’re lying about this now, what will they lie about when they’re older?”

💔“Am I raising a child who doesn’t know right from wrong?”

💔“Have I failed as a parent?”

Lying taps into some of our deepest parenting fears—

🌪fears about the kind of person our child is becoming, about their future, and about whether we’re getting it all wrong.

🔴This is what you need to know:

How you react to those lies can either make the situation better—or worse.

When you freak out, yell, or punish out of fear, you might unintentionally:

❌ Teach them that lying is safer than telling the truth.

❌ Make them hide even more in the future & get better at not getting caught

❌ Create an environment where fear replaces trust.

➡️How you respond to lying shapes how your child learns about honesy...

❌WITHOUT the right tools, it’s easy to react in ways that make things worse—yelling, shaming, or focusing so much on the lie that they feel afraid to ever tell the truth.

✅When you have the SKILLS to handle lies with calm and intention, you can transform these moments into opportunities for MASSIVE growth AND connection

When you develop the skill to handle lies:

✅You strengthen trust, showing your child that the relationship is bigger than their mistakes.

✅You teach them how to take responsibility and repair the situation, instead of running from it.

✅You guide them through handling tough situations calmly, equipping them with skills they’ll carry into adulthood.

⭐️Are you ready to handle it differently?

▶️This month in the Membership Community, we’re addressing lying head-on in our LIVE (on Zoom) Growth Call training to Crack the Code on WHY Kids Lie and How to Stop It., insha'Allah

✔️ The real reasons kids lie (hint: it’s not about defiance).

✔️ How to stop making the situation worse with your reactions.

✔️ The skills you need to build trust and guide your child toward honesty.

Want to join us?
Sign up here https://mumsunstuck.com/

ps. new member fees are increasing on Feb 1st so join now to lock in the BEST offer!

This sister joined the membership a couple of weeks ago, and Allahumma barik is making HUGE personal breakthroughs, being made aware of things she didn’t realise she was doing that was impacting how she showed up with the kids and handled “misbehaviours”

👉In her first week after only working through 2 tool mini trainings, she found herself better able to respond to tantrums…. And that’s BEFORE she even got to any of the tantrum tools! 💪

If you want to seriously change your parenting game and make radical positive lasting changes as a parent (and within yourself) join us before new members fees go up at the end of the month
www.mumsunstuck.com

‼️SWIPE SLIDES to answer WHY does my child keep lying?

___________________________________

💔Have you ever caught your child lying and felt that sinking, gut-wrenching feeling?

Most of us as a Muslim parent FREAKS OUT!!!!!!

Maybe you start wondering:

💔“What if they never grow out of this?”

💔“Does this mean they can’t be trusted?”

💔“Where did I go wrong?”

It’s a terrifying thought—that the lies might get bigger as they grow older, or that they’ll carry this deceitful behaviour into adulthood. 💔

Here's what most parents don’t realize:

👉Lying in children isn't typically about intentionally being deceitful

👉It’s often rooted in fear, shame, or uncertainty.

If your child lies, it doesn’t mean they’re broken or destined to be dishonest forever.

What it does mean is there’s something underneath that behaviour—something they don’t know how to express yet safely.

🚨The question is, how can you respond in a way that doesn’t make it worse?

🆕If you want to know the answer, this month, we’re cracking the code on WHY kids lie and HOW to stop it, insha'Allah

💪Ready to get to the root of the problem and handle it like a muma-pro???

▶️Join the membership community to join us on LIVE on January 20th 7pm GMT (Uk time zone) / 2pm ET / 10pm KSA

🔗https://mumsunstuck.com/