One way to build bridges in a relationship is to consciously use devotion—not as an obligation but as a way of being.
Devotion, in its essence, is the willingness to attune deeply to the energy of the woman you love.
It’s in noticing the subtleties: the tension in her jaw, the way her shoulders rise and fall, how her eyes seek something unspoken, and the language of her hands, her breath, and her hips as they tell stories she may not even realize she’s telling.
At its core, a man's gift in a relationship is his presence—conscious, steady, and grounded. It’s not just being there physically but offering a kind of awareness that sees beyond the surface.
Yet to hold this space for her, you must first know your own depths. This kind of knowing doesn’t come by accident; it’s built from feeling your breath in your chest, the beat of your heart, the pull of your instincts, and the connection between your cxck and your heart.
Before you can offer her your presence, you must be present within yourself. You must cross that inner bridge between who you are and who you long to be.
You can only then turn your awareness toward others from this place of love and integrity. With this intention, you can simultaneously own your core need to be trusted and protective and her profound need to feel safe.
I remember sitting on the edge of my bed one evening after a long day, tired but restless. My chest felt tight, and my thoughts were all over the place.
I placed a hand on my sternum, closed my eyes, shed some tears, and breathed until the noise within began to settle.
Only then could I even begin to notice the subtle weight my partner was carrying when she walked through the door.
When I tuned into her, it wasn’t just her words I heard. Her breath was shallow, her shoulders drawn inward. I could feel her tension before she spoke.
It would have been easy to ask about her day or offer some perfunctory reassurance, but instead, I let my awareness settle deeper.
What did she genuinely need in that moment? A simple kiss on her forehead, my hand resting warmly over hers, or a silence that allowed her to exhale the burdens of her day? That was all it took to create a bridge—one that wasn’t made of words but of presence.
This kind of connection requires an understanding of your own needs and hers. It’s not about sacrificing your truth, nor is it about fixing her. It’s about meeting her where she is while staying grounded in your own authenticity.
To lead in love is to guide, not control; to hold space, not dominate. It’s recognizing her need to feel safe and cherished while honoring your need to feel respected and trusted. These are not opposites—they are pieces of the same puzzle.
If you tap into this vibration of devotional connectedness, you can feel, witness, amplify, and liberate more love between you.
This is what healthy masculine leadership means in the context of relational work. It isn’t grandiose or loud. It’s the quiet choice to stay attuned when distractions beckon. It’s putting aside ego to see her fully, even when inconvenient or uncomfortable.
When she’s overwhelmed or restless, I’ve found that the most potent response isn’t to fix her or even to speak but to anchor myself and offer her a steady presence. A warm embrace, a gentle hand on her back, or a loving gaze can open doors to connection that no words ever could.
It’s leadership rooted in balance, where one's own needs and truth remain steadfast. Committing to this path is choosing love over gratification, offering not just a part of oneself but the whole.
In those moments of devotion, when her heart softens and her breath steadies, something shifts. Love begins to flow again, unbound and unfiltered. And in that flow, a new possibility of connection and depth is born.
Devotion is not a destination; it’s a practice. And in practicing, you build the bridges that make love not just a feeling but a shared reality.
~ Bas Waijers Baumann
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