Aliyu M. Ahmad

Littafin ƘABLI DA BA'ADI da na rubuta da harshen Hausa, littafi ne da yake bayani kan rafkanuwa a cikin salla.

Shafi 16 ne, za ka iya karance shi a 30 mins (ko ƙasa da haka).

Za ka iya sauƙe shi PDF a:

• WikiHausa
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• Blog
aliyumahmad.blogspot.com/2022/10/littafin-abli-da-baadi.html?

• Telegram
https://t.me/aliyumahmad

• WhatsApp
chat.whatsapp.com/EHeGrVrRKVc7oY99ierjMf

Allah ya karɓa mana,
Allah ya amfana.

#AliyuCares #RayuwaDaNazari #AliyuMAhmad #AliMotives

Tarbiyyar Yara

1. Idan kana/kina buƙatar ‘ya’ya na gari, ku zaɓi abokan zama na gari (miji da mata), domin ‘ya’ya photocopy ne na iyayensu. Ka zaɓa wa a ‘ya’yanka uwa, ya fi ka zaɓa wa kanka mata. Kada ka auri fitsararriyar mata, kuma ka ce kana son ‘ya’ya na gari.

2. Ka koyar da ‘ya’yanka karatun addini tun suna ƙanana, domin idan suka girma, ɗawainiyyar rayuwa ba za ta bar su su kai kansu koyo ba. Karatun addini ba ya hana na boko, haka na boko, ba ya hana na addini.

3. Duk makarantar da za ka kai yaronka, sai dai su taya ka ba shi tarbiyya, domin tarbiyya tana ginuwa, tun daga zaɓar iyaye, muhalli, mu’amalar aure, cin halal, haihuwa, rainon yaro zuwa girmansa, wannan kuma duk a hannunka suke.

4. Yaro ya fi kwaikwayon ɗabi’u, mu’amala da salon magana a wajen iyaye, makwabta, abokai da muhallin da ya tsinci kansa fiye da bin umarnin baki (yi kaza, bar kaza). Idan ɗanka yana yawan zagi, ko wata mummunar ɗabi’a, muhalli da ya tashi ne sila.

5. Idan ka ƙi jan yaronka a jiki, zai fi shaƙuwa da abokai a waje fiye da kai, kowanne ɗan Adam yana buƙatar kulawa, nishaɗi da farin ciki. Wannan kuma zai bibiye ka har a tsufa, yaronka za fi ba wa buƙatar abokansa muhimmanci fiye da taka.

6. A wajen bayar da horo, idan kana yawan tadowa da yaronka laifuka ko kuskuren da ya yi a baya, zai koyi ɗabi'ar yawan yi maka karya. ‘Ya’yanka za su zaɓi yi ma ƙarya, saboda gudun faɗa.

7. Idan kana yawan sauƙaƙawa yaronka ƙananan abubuwa (daga shekara 3 zuwa 7), kamar cire masa kaya, ba shi abin ci a baki, yawan ɗaukarsa maimakon a bar shi yana takawa da ƙafarsa, yaron zai tashi da kasala. Yana da kyau a riƙa barin yaro yana yin wasu ƙananan abubuwa da kansa, idan ya yi kuskure, sai a gyara masa.

8. Idan kana yawan yi wa yaro faɗa ko hantara a bainar jama’a, zai daina jin kunyar mutane, koda a cikin gida ne, domin tozarci ne.

9. Idan ana kawo ma ƙorafin yaro kana ƙin karɓa ko kana ba shi kariya, a hankali ɗabi’ar rashin kirkinsa za ta girma, hatta kai ma ba za ka iya hana shi ba.

10. Idan kana yawan ba wa ‘ya’yanka shawara fiye da ƙarfafa masu gwuiwa, hakan zai kashe musu zurfin tunani. Ka riƙa ba su dama suna tunani a karan kansu, ko yin shawara jin me ke cikin ransu, kowa yana da zaɓi.

11. Idan baka bawa yaronka zaɓi, sai dai abin da ka yi niyya, zai koyi ɗabi’ar yawan ɗauke-ɗauke (sata), saboda neman abin da ransa yake so. A wani lokacin, ka riƙa ba wa yaronka zaɓi, Me yake so,? Me zai ci?

12. Idan kana yawan raina wasu mutanen a gaban yaro, shi ma zai tashi da wannan ɗabi’ar, saboda ana ƙasƙantar da wani a gabansa yana gani, ko yana ji. Kar ka nuna masa gidanku ya fi nasu wane, ko kun wuce ajin wasu.

13. Idan kana yawan nuna wa yaro fifikonsa akan wasu, zai tashi da kyashi da hassada, hatta a kan ƙannensa da za a haifa a gaba.

14. Idan baka godewa yaronka ko jinjina masa saboda wata bajinta, zai tashi da saurin fushi, ya yi aikin wahala, ba sakamako.

15. Idan kana son haɗa kan ‘ya’yan tun a yarinta, ka rinƙa haɗa musu abin su ci tare, za ka ga ɗabi’unsu na tausayi, haƙuri, son juna, ko son kai, sai kana daidaita su.

16. Idan yara suka kwace masa abu ya kawo ƙara, kullum kana yawan ba shi haƙuri, zai zama dolo. Ka koya masa jin mulki da mallaka, da jarumta. Idan Ya fita ya jefar da takalmi, ka ce ya je ya nemo, kar ya zama asarari, albozari.

17. Ka riƙa aiken yaro da kyauta zuwa ga ‘yan uwa, ka riƙa zuwa zumunci gidan ‘yan uwa tare da shi, zai tashi da kyautayi da zumunci.

18. Idan ƴarki ta tambaye ki kuɗi, kada kowanne lokaci kina ce wa, je ki wajen babanki, wani lokacin ki rinƙa shiga tsakani.

19. Duk wata ɗabi’a maras kyau, yaro tun yana ƙarami ake hana shi, kar ka ce, AI YARO NE! Idan ya girma da ɗabi’ar, ko kai ba za ka iya hana shi ba.

20. Ka daina yawan furta ‘AI NI ‘YA’YANA BA SU ISA BIJERE MIN BA’ Malam! Tarbiyya na hannun iyaye, amma shiriya ta Allah ce, sai Ubangiji Ya barka da yawonka, da zafin kai, da tsaro, kuma yaro ya bijere. Sai da addu’a!

21. A kullum iyaye su tuna, su ba masu horarwa ba ne, masu raino ne, ana horar da yaro ne idan ya yi ba daidai ba, shi ma don ya gyara. Kamar kai! Yaro yana iya kuskure, akwai kuma yanayi, wani lokacin sai da uzuri.

22. Akwai littafan bayar da tarbiyya a Musulunci da zamani da suka shafi: Altanshi’a (reno na musamman), Al’islah (karkatarwa zuwa ga mafi kyau), Atta’adib (koyar da kyawawan dabi’u), Attahzib (tsaftace zuciya), Attadhir (tsarkake dauda), Attazkiyyah (tsaftace zuciya daga miyagun halaye), Atta’alim (ilamtarwa), Assiyasa (jagoranci), Annushu wal Irshad (shiryarwa), da Alkhlaƙ (gyara dabi’u) 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇

1. Tarbiyya a Musulunci na Prof. Professor Ahmad Bello Dogarawa
👉 https://bit.ly/3RzyBmX

2. مؤدب الأطفال na Raafat Sweilem (رأفت سويلم)
👉 https://bit.ly/3pQ55x5

3. تربية الطفل حقوق الطفل في الشريعة الإسلامية Raafat Sweilem (رأفت سويلم)
👉 https://bit.ly/3pQ5a3R

4. مناهج التربية أسسها وتطبيقاتها na Aliyu Ahmad Madkur
👉 https://bit.ly/3dXGDat

5. النور الدلال فى ترشيد الأطفال na Na’ibi Sulaiman Waly

6. Rising Childrn in Islam na Muhammad Nurb ibn Abd al-Hafizh Suwayd
👉 https://bit.ly/3KsmCF7

7. Al-Ghazali’s Parenting Skills Attributes Model na Amiah Manap da Sidek Baba
👉 https://bit.ly/3Q0Semq

8. Tarbiyatul Aulad na Abdussalam Bin Abdullah As Sulaiman
👉 https://bit.ly/3PVXXtY

9. Lecture: Tarbiyar Yara a Musulunci ta Sheikh Shu'aibu Saleh Zaria
👉 t.me/aliyumahmad/3

10. Majlissin Tarbiyya na Mal. Usman Abul Husnai:

• Taqseer Tarbiyatul Aulad
👉 https://bit.ly/3KtWcmH

• Kaifa Nurabbi Auladana
👉 https://bit.ly/3KtEQ9d

✍️Aliyu M. Ahmad
1st Safar, 1444AH
29th August, 2022CE
#AliyuMAhmad #FasaharZamani #Faceboo

📷....
Fahimtar mu game da Staking, spot da kuma future trading a Crypto da Blockchain industry.

Duba tattaunawar DCL ta jiya kan Crypto, haƙiƙa za ka samu ƙaru sosai 👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻

Ga yadda za ka fito da BOTs daga Telegram zuwa kan 'Home Screen' na wayarka 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

#AliyuMAhmad

• Idan karatun lafiya ka yi, akwai damar volunteering a asibitoci, da samun dama kurkusa. Ka nema, dama suna neman ƙarin 'staff' ma'aikata sun yi ƙaranci. Part-time aiki ne, kuma su kan yi ihsani ma 'volunteers' da ɗan revenue da 'running cost' da suke samu. Ya fi zaman jiran tsammani.

• A aikin force na ɗan sanda da civil defense akwai 'special constabulary', wanda wasu daga baya suke koma permanent. Ka nemi bayanin ya ake shiga tsarin.

Volunterring yana da matuƙar amfani a 'portfolio' na CV naka. Domin zai nuna jajircewarka, sadaukar, son aiki da gogewa kan aiki.

3. KOYON SANA'A (SKILLS)

• Telanci - cikin sati 6 zuwa 10 idan ka maida hankali za ka iya koyon tako da yanka, musamman idan mai koya maka ba shi da aiyuka sosai kuma yana interest na ya koya maka.

• Business centre - idan akwai abokinka ko wani babban computer centre kusa da kai, ka nemi su ɗauke ka koyon aiki. Daga koyon aiki wani automatically za ka zama ma'aikaci a wurin, domin za a ce yi typesetting paper 1, yi wancan.. a hankali kana samun ₦500, ₦1k... kuma a hankali kana gogewa da 'hands-on skills', da yadda ake gudanar da kasuwancin business centre.

• Digital skills - data analysis, graphic design, social media management, affliate marketting... ka ɗauki 1 ka koya da gaske da naci. Wani skills yana buƙatar a ƙalla wata 3 ko fiye kafin ka gane ciki-da-bai, wani ma a cikin wata 1 za ka iya fara gane hanya.

Da 'digital skills' za ka iya freelancing a Upwork, Freelance, social networks (Facebook, WhatsApp...). Aiyuka da yawa ba sa buƙatar computer, wayar hannunka ta wadatar maka, kawai ka nemi ka koyi yadda ake yi. Idan kana 'content writing', kada ka damu da 'physical publication', akwai WikiHausa, Selar, Amazon Kindle... za ka iya ɗora littafinka ka saya da ebooks (PDF).

4. CONNECTION

Social skills, zumunci, girmama mutane, halartar taruka masu muhimmanci, abokai na gari, iya magana, aiyukan jinƙai da ƙungiyoyin sa kai... za su taimaka wa sosai a duk lokacin da wata dama ta zo a yi da kai.

5. GINA KYAKKYAWAN PORTFOLIO

Ka nemi yadda ake haɗa kyakkyawan 'curriculum viate' (CV) da resúme, ka yi amfani da social media wajen nuna me ka sani, me za ka iya. Ka gina social media profile naka da dukkan bayanan da suka shafi karatunka, check-in, aiyukanka, wurin da kake rayuwa...

Ka yi amfani da business/professional networks, irin LikendIn, Xing, Jobberman, NGCareers, Bizzybofy NG... ka yi amfani da portfolio sites domin nuna kwarewarka irin su Behance, GitHub, Carbonmade, Coroflot, Medium, Academia, UpWork, Freelancer, Fiverr...

Aiki sunansa aiki, da na ofis, da na gareji, da na kasuwa da shago... kowa ƙoƙarin kashe yunwar cikinsa yake. Rayuwa ba gaggawa ko gasa, kada ka zauna jiran tsammani kuma babu abin da kake taɓuka wa, kana zagin 'uncles' sun ƙi sama maka aiki. Wanda yake raba 'offer' wa mutane a 2000s, yau 'ya'yan cikinsa sun fi 5 suna jiran tsammani, ba yadda ya iya da su saboda yanayin. Bahushe ya ce, Allah ya ce tashi in taimake ka. Ka iya naka, ka yi addu'a, ka bar wa Ubangiji sauran.

✍🏻Aliyu M. Ahmad
9th Dhul-Qidah, 1445AH
18th May, 2024CE

#AliyuMAhmad #RayuwaDaNazari #AliMotives

http://aliyumahmad.blogspot.com/2024/05/aukar-mataki-1-zai-iya-canja-maka.html

ƊAUKAR MATAKI 1 ZAI IYA CANJA MAKA RAYUWA HAR ABADA

Ka gama degree ko diploma, kuma ba ka da wani 'skill(s)' da kake neman taro da sisi, ka karanta wannan bayanin kafin Ubangiji ﷻ ya kawo maka wani abin yi na dindindin:

1. GRADUATE TRAINEE PROGRAM (GTP)

Ka san bankuna da kamfanoni sukan ɗaukar 'fresh graduates', suna koya musu aiki na tsawon watanni ko shekaru, kuma kana musu aiki suna biyan ka? A ƙarshe ma wasu su ba da 'permanent offer'. GTP kyakkyawar hanya ce ta 'capacity building' na 'career', kuma tafi kusa ga samin aiki a duk lokacin da aka zo ɗaukar permanent ma'aikata a wurin da kake GTP. Sau da yawa ma ba su sakin GTP beneficiary.

Idan a garinku akwai banki ko wani kamfani, ka kaɗe takardunka ka je ka ce kana son yin GTP, idan akwai dama za su yi maka bayani, ko kuma ka je Google ka yi searching 'Graduate Trainee Program' a Nijeriya, da yawan bankuna da kamfofi suna da wurin applying GTP a kan shafinsu.

Akwai wanda na sani da ya yi GTP a banki a Kaduna, daga baya suka ɗauke shi permanent, ₦220k - ₦250k suke biyansa (idan na riƙe), kuma su suka kama masa 'lodge', hatta 'transport' da motar banki suke tafiya da sauran 'staff'. Aikin banki ba shi da alaƙa da me ka karanta, matuƙar dai degree ce, kuma kana jin Turanci.

A pharmaceuatical industry, mai, kayan abinci, IT... duk suna bada damar GTP. Duba shafin Dangote, Shell, Nestle, MTN... idan ka shirya barin garinku (comfort zone).

2. AIKIN SA KAI (VOLUNTEERING)

• Kana da degree ko diploma kan 'education' kuma babu abin da kake yi sai jiran tsammani, yi ƙoƙarin neman wata 'secondary ko 'primary' mana a unguwarku su ba ka subject 1 ko 2 kana yi musu. Yawancin makarantu suna biya ma, ba zallar kyauta za ka yi ba.

Akwai makarantar da na sani, duk malamin da ya rage 'periods' aka ba wa ɗan 'volunteer' sai ya ba da wani abu idan aka yi musu salary. Abin da wasu masu volunteer ke haɗawa a wata, ya fi wanda wasu private schools ke biya, kuma babu takura da barazana kamar private schools.

Idan kuma kana sha'awar advanced academia, colleges, polytechnics da jami'a (university) suna bada damar 'volunteering'. Idan kana da kyakkyawan 2.1, kuma ka mastering field naka, kuma za ka iya lecturing ma ɗalibai, ka duba wata 'university' ta kusa da kai, ka nemi bayanin yadda tsarinsu yake, wasu makarantun suna biyan alawus. Idan ana neman ƙarin staff kuma sun san da zamanka.

• Idan kana da diploma a law, yi ƙoƙarin neman wata chamber ta babban barrister ka ce kana son koyon aiki, ko wata magistrate ko high court ka je volunteering. Za ka ƙara gogewa sosai, kuma duk sanda wata dama ta zo kana daga cikin waɗanda za su iya samu.

Akwai wanda ya yi 'diploma' a 'law', ya sami irin wannan shawara, ya je wata chamber yana koyon aiki, yana yi musu 'yan aike-aike. Sai da ya zo ya iya legal draft, rubuta agreements da sauransu. Wani lokacin barrister ya kan sa shi aiki, sai idan yazo ya karɓa ya gyaggyara, a ƙarshe ya nema masa admission LLB., ya ɗauki nauyinsa, shi ma ya zama barrister.

• Idan aikin jarida kake sha'awar yi, kuma ba ka samu aikin ba, garinku akwai gidajen radio, TV ko na jaridar takarda, rubuta letter ta neman yin volunteering, za ka samin 'hands-on experiences' a on-air programs, reporting skills, sound engineering... ya danganta da wurin da suka ba ka dama.

Akwai kuma gidajen jarida (print media) suna bada GTP, ko volunteering. Akwai gidajen jarida na online, ka riƙa rubuta stories suna ɗora maka. Duk lokacin da aka sami 'fellowership' abin da suka fi buƙata shi ne rubutu, me ka taɓa rubutawa na report/story a matsayin ɗan jarida.

Akwai abokina da ya fara da volunteering, ya shafe kusan shekara yana zuwa gidan radio, a hankali yana koyon aiki, reporting, fassara... a ƙarshe ya zama 'staff', kuma yana rendering freelancing services na fassara. Yanzu haka yana kusan kammala master (self scholarship) sanadiyyar wancan mataki, juriya da haƙuri da ya ɗauka.

Na sanya audio (mp3) na tattaunarwa mu da Salisu Abdurrazak Saheel kan social media a Telegram, 29 MB, 1hr 42mins

👇🏻👇🏻

Constructive dismissal/breakup

Wannan shi ne a Hausa ake cewa "kora da hali". Rimirimi kuna cikin shan soyayya, ba faɗa, ba wata matsala, ba ka san dalili ba, haka kawai sai masoyi ya sauya maka a lokaci guda, ya daina kula ka ('silent treatment' ko 'stonewalling').

Haka kawai zai daina maka chatting, ƙiran waya, tuntuɓa ta kowacce siga, kamar dai ya yanke alaƙa da kai faɗa maka ne kawai ba zai yi ba, kamar dai akwai 'emotional detachment'. Da kai za ka ƙira shi a waya ma, ba zai 'responding' ba, ko kuma ba zai biyo 'missed calls' ko replying 'chats' naka ba, sai dai ma ya fara kawo 'excuses' marasa kan gado, busy, busy... ko wani uzuri.

'Stonewalling' kyakkyawan 'red flag 🚩' ne da ke nuna akwai matsala, ya kamata ka yi ta kanka, ka san mutuncin kanka. Idan mutum ba ya ƙaunarka duk yadda ya kai ga ɓoye sai aiyukansa sun bayyana shi, sun nuna soyayyar ƙarya yake yi maka (discrepancy), aka ce LABARIN ZUCIYA, A TAMBAYI FUSKA, da zarar babu kai a cikin zuciya, aiyukan gaɓɓai za su sheda.

Bai kamata kullum sai kana takura kanka a kan soyayya ba, ya kamata soyayya ta zame maka salama ba tashin hankali da rashin samun nutsuwa ba. Duk wanda ya janye jikinsa daga gare ka ba tare da ka masa laifin komai ba, kai ma ka yi wa kanka mutunci da daraja, ka ba shi 'space'. A ka darjanta mutum, shi ne za ka tambaye shi, wane na maka wani abu ne na laifi? Yana cewa a'a, ka masa fatan alheri, kunyarka yake ji, ba zai iya ce wa a kawo ƙarshen alaƙa ba ne, kada ka wahalar da kanka kan shawo kan mutum ba tare da ka masa laifin komai ba.

Kai da kake matashi, maimakon ka fi damuwa da ya za ka gina kanka, haka kawai sai ka fi damuwa da wata aba soyayya? Uwar me za ta tsinana maka? Da ajinki da darajarki ki tsaya wani yana ta wasa da zuciyarki ƙanwata, shi ne ɗan autan maza ne? Ba wani mutum da ba za ka iya rayuwa don baya cikin rayuwarka ba, kafin ka san shi a baya ya kake rayuwa? Ba kai ne kake addu'ar zaɓin alheri ba, ba ka ganin rabuwarku alheri ce don samun shigowar alherin da kake roƙa? وعسى أن تكرهوا شيئا وهو خير لكم.

✍🏻Aliyu M. Ahmad
1st Dhul-Qidah, 1445AH
9th May, 2024CE

#AliMotives #AliyuMAhmad #RayuwaDaNazari #ConstructiveBreakup

https://aliyumahmad.blogspot.com/2024/05/kora-da-hali-constructive.html

Bayanin Nick Clegg, Facebook President of Global Affairs kan monetization na FACEBOOK da INSTAGRAM bayan zuwansa Nigeria.

Source: Nick Clegg/Twitter

Wasu ɗabi'u 2 na 'yan mata mai wuya da sauƙin ganewa:

1. Za ku iya shekara da mace kuna soyayya, amma tsawon wata 9 ba ta taɓa jin tana son ka ba, sai a wata 3 na ƙarshe ta fara jin soyayyarka a zuciyarta (daga 'breadcrumbing' zuwa 'transferring affection').

2. Mace za ta iya cire ka a zuciyarta tsawon lokaci ba tare da ka fahimta ba, ku shekara kuna tare, amma tun wata 6 baya ta cire ka a zuciyarta, ta sauya ra'ayi a kanka (emotional detachment).

Ya abin ya ke?

A lokacin da kake 'approaching' yarinya, a lokacin da take tare da wani (saurayin da take so), ba wai barin sa za ta yi a lokaci guda don ta ba ka dama ba, yana iya faruwa, amma yana da wahala mace ta iya haɗa soyayya mazaje 2 a zuciyarta a lokaci guda (sai ta kasa samun nutsuwa).

Idan mai gaskiya ce, kai tsaye za ta faɗa maka tana da zaɓi, idan kuma mayaudariya ce (deceptive), za ta riƙe a matsayin 'backup', BREAD-CRUMBING kenan. Idan kuma wata ta ga kana da abin mora, za ta ajiye ka a matsayin 'safety net'.

Tsawon lokacin da take ba ka attention ba soyayya ba ce, tana amfana da wani 'value' naka ne kawai, hala kana ɗebe mata kewa, ko sauƙe mata nauyin wasu buƙata. Idan wancan zaɓin nata ya fara ba ta ciwon kai, ko suka sami matsala, sai ta yi 'transferring affection', ma'ana ta fara karkata kanka (MONKEY BRANCHING).

Duk waya, chatting, zuwa hira da kake a tsawon wata 9 ba ta taɓa jin ka a motsin zuciyarta ba, BREADCRUMBING ne kawai. Sai dai wannan kulawar ta yi tasirin wajen samun 'TRANSFERRING AFFECTION'.

Ta yadda za ka gane shi ne, za ta ƙara ba ka attention fiye da baya, idan a baya ba ta ƙiranka sai idan kai ne ka ƙira ta, yanzu da katinta za tana ƙiranka. Ita ce aiko maka gaisuwar safiya da goodnight. Har tana nuna damuwa kun kwana biyu ba kwa waya wanda a baya ba ta yi, to yanzu ne ta shigo hannu. AMMA KA KULA! Ta dawo son ka ne da gaske, ko kuma 'monkey-branching' ne saboda wancan fushi da ta yi wa wancan saurayintan? Idan saboda fushi ne, ka tabbata idan suka huce za ta sake komawa gare shi matuƙar da gaske take son sa. Soyayyarka 'rebounded' ce, ta yi 'monkey branching' saboda ba za ta iya zama 'single' ba.

Emotional Detachment

Mace za ta fizge (dumping) ka a zuciyarta tsawon lokaci ba tare da ta ce maka ku rabu ba (verbal breakup/emotional closure), ko ta yi maka bayanin ta fara 'crushing' sabon 'supply' (emotional exposure). Irin wannan na faru a:

1. Lokacin da wataƙila wani sabon sarauyi ya shigo da hala yana da wasu 'qualities' da suka ɗara naka, ko kuma

2. Kuna yawan samun saɓani, tafi ganin wancan bai fiye rigima ba (cyclical), kuma yana ba ta attention fiye da kai (trade-up).

Hala a lokacin da kuka sami saɓani ta yi fushi, kai ma ka yi fushi, wannan tsawon jira ya sa ta sake tunani. Bayan da ka dawo aka ba wa juna haƙuri, aka ci gaba da samun ba wa juna 'attention', amma tuntuni ta sallame ka a zuciyarta.

Za ka gane hakan ta hanyar lura da canje-canjen halayyarta, saboda aiyukan mutum ke bayyana mene ne a zuciyarsa (cognitive consistency). Idan a baya tana iya saka 'airtime' ta ƙira ka, yanzu ta daina sai dai kai ka ƙira (ba kuma babu ba ce). Sannan idan ka lura da 'chattings' naku duk 'replies' take maka, ma'ana kai kake fara neman ta sai ta maka 'replies' (fade-out). Uwa-uba, za ka same ta tana ba wa sabon saurayi ko sabon 'supply' 'attention'. Da ka yi magana sai ta ce, "he is just a friend", ko kuma "cousin ɗina ne", ko kuma "cewa ya yi yana so na"...

A daidai lokacin da kuka saba waya, idan ka ƙira sai ka ji 'call waiting', idan kuna 'chat' sai ta ɗau lokaci za ta maka 'reply', ma'ana, an ba wa wasu lokacinka. Idan da za ka ƙi ƙiran ta tsawon sati, ita ba za ta ƙira ka ba, ba ta kuma damu ba. Ita ba za ta furta ma ta kore ka ba, sai dai halayyarta ta gajiyar da kai ka janye jiki (constructive dismissal/kora da hali). Mace ba ta barin namiji a lokaci guda, idan kuwa hakan ta faru ta jima da cire ka a zuciyarta (emotional detachment). Kuma kada soyayyar ta rufe maka ido ka kasa gane 'RED FLAGS' 🚩.

A duk lokacin da kake marhalar neman soyayya kafin ta kai ku ga aure, ka tabbatar kai ne, ba wai abin hannunka ake hari ba, ba kuma 'breadcrumbing' ake da kai ba. Mace kan iya tara mazaje 100, amma 1 ne kawai take so. Sauran tana ba su 'attention' ne kawai domin wata maslaha. Ka tabbatar kai ne 1 cikin 100, kada ka kasance cikin 99. Abu ne mai kyau kana nazarin 'dark psychology' domin kare kanka daga cutarwa, musamman a sha'anin alaƙa tsakanin jinsi.

✍🏻 Aliyu M. Ahmad
11th Shawwal, 1445AH
20th April, 2024CE

#AliyuMAhmad #RayuwaDaNazari #AliMotives

http://aliyumahmad.blogspot.com/2024/04/wasu-abiun-wasu-matan.html