Daily English Lessons

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck.
Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.
As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water.
The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.
The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.
On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"
"I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."

Изучение английских предлогов больше не станет ежедневной головной болью. Мы предлагаем вам решить эту проблему с помощью диска-шпаргалки и книги с упражнениями.

Мы собрали 100 (на самом деле даже немного больше) самых часто используемых устойчивых словосочетаний с предлогами. Теперь вы можете использовать диск как удобный инструмент для выполнения заданий по английскому или подготовки к экзаменам. Чтобы закрепить знания, мы разработали сборник упражнений, который, с помощью того же диска, поможет вам обрести уверенность в употреблении предлогов.

В конце сборника вы найдете ключи для самопроверки, чтобы убедиться в правильности своих ответов. Больше не придется путаться между "at", "in" и "on" или сомневаться в правильности выбора предлога — у вас есть инструмент, который делает процесс обучения увлекательным и эффективным.

Мы уверены, что с этим пособием ваша уверенность в английском вырастет, и предлоги перестанут быть для вас камнем преткновения. В конечном счете, всё всегда depends ON (только on, пожалуйста) — зависит от вас!

Подробнее ознакомиться и купить можно на странице

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While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,
"How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothing," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got them."

A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him.
He asked his father, "How does this boat float?"
The father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."
A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, "How do fish breath underwater?"
Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."
A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?"
Again, the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."
Finally, the boy asked his father, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"
The father replied, "Of course not, you don't ask questions, you never learn nothing."

Изучение английских предлогов больше не станет ежедневной головной болью. Мы предлагаем вам решить эту проблему с помощью диска-шпаргалки и книги с упражнениями.

Мы собрали 100 (на самом деле даже немного больше) самых часто используемых устойчивых словосочетаний с предлогами. Теперь вы можете использовать диск как удобный инструмент для выполнения заданий по английскому или подготовки к экзаменам. Чтобы закрепить знания, мы разработали сборник упражнений, который, с помощью того же диска, поможет вам обрести уверенность в употреблении предлогов.

В конце сборника вы найдете ключи для самопроверки, чтобы убедиться в правильности своих ответов. Больше не придется путаться между "at", "in" и "on" или сомневаться в правильности выбора предлога — у вас есть инструмент, который делает процесс обучения увлекательным и эффективным.

Мы уверены, что с этим пособием ваша уверенность в английском вырастет, и предлоги перестанут быть для вас камнем преткновения. В конечном счете, всё всегда depends ON (только on, пожалуйста) — зависит от вас!

Подробнее ознакомиться и купить можно на странице

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A little boy at a wedding looks at his mom and says,
"Mommy, why does the girl wear white?"
His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."
The boy thinks about this, and then says, "Well then, why is the boy wearing black?"

A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together.
He replies, "No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you. Tomorrow I would've been a free man!"

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John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer,
"Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
John thought for a minute and said,
"Well, I guess I'll go get that driver's license."

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Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older.
One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich."
The second lady chimed in with, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."
The third one responded, "Well, ladies, I'm glad I don't have that problem. Knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, and then said,
"That must be the door, I'll get it!"

Изучение английских предлогов больше не станет ежедневной головной болью. Мы предлагаем вам решить эту проблему с помощью диска-шпаргалки и книги с упражнениями.

Мы собрали 100 (на самом деле даже немного больше) самых часто используемых устойчивых словосочетаний с предлогами. Теперь вы можете использовать диск как удобный инструмент для выполнения заданий по английскому или подготовки к экзаменам. Чтобы закрепить знания, мы разработали сборник упражнений, который, с помощью того же диска, поможет вам обрести уверенность в употреблении предлогов.

В конце сборника вы найдете ключи для самопроверки, чтобы убедиться в правильности своих ответов. Больше не придется путаться между "at", "in" и "on" или сомневаться в правильности выбора предлога — у вас есть инструмент, который делает процесс обучения увлекательным и эффективным.

Мы уверены, что с этим пособием ваша уверенность в английском вырастет, и предлоги перестанут быть для вас камнем преткновения. В конечном счете, всё всегда depends ON (только on, пожалуйста) — зависит от вас!

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A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says,
"Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
The man says,
"Sorry officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."
"Well, then we need an urine sample."
"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar."
"All right then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
"I can't do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm too drunk to do that!"

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A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife:
"I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"
the mail, replied in a letter.
The prisioner, knowing that the prison guards read all
"Dear wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! That is where I hid all the gold."
A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife:
"You wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up the whole back garden."
The prisoner wrote another letter:
"Dear wife, NOW is the best time to plant the lettuce!"

Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said,
"I hear sirens. Jump!"
The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!"
The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious."

A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over.
The cop approaches the car and says,
"It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go."
The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says,
"My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"

Safest Way to Drive

Peter Ludwig, a caver from Austria who is appalled by American driving habits, offers the following advice:
The probability of being involved in a traffic accident is directly proportional to time spent on the road. Driving fast decreases one's exposure.
One third of traffic accidents are caused by drunk drivers; two thirds are caused by non-drunk drivers.
Therefore, the safest way to drive is drunk and VERY fast.

Изучение английских предлогов больше не станет ежедневной головной болью. Мы предлагаем вам решить эту проблему с помощью диска-шпаргалки и книги с упражнениями.

Мы собрали 100 (на самом деле даже немного больше) самых часто используемых устойчивых словосочетаний с предлогами. Теперь вы можете использовать диск как удобный инструмент для выполнения заданий по английскому или подготовки к экзаменам. Чтобы закрепить знания, мы разработали сборник упражнений, который, с помощью того же диска, поможет вам обрести уверенность в употреблении предлогов.

В конце сборника вы найдете ключи для самопроверки, чтобы убедиться в правильности своих ответов. Больше не придется путаться между "at", "in" и "on" или сомневаться в правильности выбора предлога — у вас есть инструмент, который делает процесс обучения увлекательным и эффективным.

Мы уверены, что с этим пособием ваша уверенность в английском вырастет, и предлоги перестанут быть для вас камнем преткновения. В конечном счете, всё всегда depends ON (только on, пожалуйста) — зависит от вас!

Подробнее ознакомиться и купить можно на странице

https://www.wildberries.ru/catalog/264541602/detail.aspx?targetUrl=GP

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet God and asks God if he can ask him a few questions.
"Sure," God says, "Go right ahead".
"OK," the man says. "Why did you make women so pretty?"
God says, "So you would like them."
"OK," the guy says. "But how come you made them so beautiful?"
"So you would LOVE them," God replies.
The man ponders a moment and then asks:
"But why did you make them such airheads?"
God says: "So they would love you!"

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.
"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!"
An old granny overheard and spoke up,
"Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!"

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve.
Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said:
"When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."
A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section.
"And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said:
"I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking."
"In that case," said the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober."

Lost penguin

A man was taking a walk in his neighborhood when he found a penguin walking along the road, so he picked it up and took it to the local police station. He said to the policeman:

- I found this penguin on High Street. What should I do with it?

The policeman looked at the man and said:

- It's obvious what you should do! Take the penguin to the London Zoo.

The man said:

- Of course, I'll take it to the zoo.

Then he left the police station with the animal under his arm. The next day the policeman saw the man walking down the street with the penguin by his side. The policeman stopped the man and said:

- But I told you to take the animal to the zoo!

The man replied:

- Yes, I took it to the zoo yesterday. Today I'm taking it to see Madame Tussaud's.


VOCABULARY

neighbourhood - рядом со своим домом
picked it up - подобрал
obvious - очевидно

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A meat counter clerk, who had had a particularly good day, proudly flipped his last chicken on a scale and weighed it.
"That will be $6.35," he told the customer.
"That really is a little too small," said the woman. "Don't you have anything larger?"
Hesitating, but thinking fast, the clerk returned the chicken to the refrigerator, paused a moment, then took the same one out again.
"This one," he said faintly, "will be $6.65."
The woman paused for a moment, then made her decision. "I know what," she said, "I'll take both of them!"

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Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first son said: "I built a big house for our mother."
The second son said: "I sent Mom a Mercedes with a driver".
The third son said: "You remember how our mother enjoys reading the Bible. Now she can't see very well.
So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. The Elders at the church spent twelve years to teach him.
Mama just has to name the chapter and the verse and the parrot recites it".
Soon thereafter, their mother sent out her letters of thanks.
"William," she wrote, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house".
"Arnold," she said, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home so I rarely use the Mercedes. That driver is so rude, he is a pain!"
"But David," she said, "the chicken was delicious".

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful … CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK! Careful … CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never!
Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving!"

One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner.
As soon as the waiter brought out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.
Tom wasnэt happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?'
Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"
Tom: "The smaller piece, of course."
Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?"

Father: "I want you to marry a girl of my choice."
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son: "Well, in that case… ok"

Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case… ok"

Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case… ok"
This is how business is done!!!

Ok, guys. We might be against the clock but we are going to make it the best Tree Lighting Ceremony ever. – Итак, люди. У нас может быть времени в обрез, но мы сделаем церемонию лучшей чем когда бы то ни было.

to be against the clock – времени в обрез, времени очень мало. Аналогичное значение имеет race against the clock и to work against the clock. Перевод несколько затруднителен. Можно, конечно, перевести как работать наперегонки с часами, но это как-то не очень. Поэтому мы дадим примеры без перевода. Смысл, я думаю очевиден.

В контексте это будет выглядеть так:

It was a race against the clock to get the project finished in time.

The software development team was working against the clock to fix the critical bug before the product launch.

The doctors were against the clock, performing a complex surgery to save the patient’s life.

Tree Lighting Ceremony – During this event, a large Christmas tree is officially decorated and illuminated, usually in a city center or public area, to mark the start of the holiday season.

Ok, am I the only one here who can think outside the box? – Я что здесь единственный кто может думать нестандартно?

Sometimes you have to think outside the box. – Иногда нужно мыслить оригинально.

to think outside the box – мыслить нетривиально, нестандартно, оригинально. Все бы так хотели, но не всегда получается.

Пример как это можно сказать, помимо эпизодов из фильмов


I think we are all capable of going after our dreams, but that does require a little bit of thinking outside the box on our own part. – Я думаю мы все можем осуществить свою мечту, но это иногда требует оригинального мышления.

Horace grabbed his plate and walked up to the buffet for the fourth time.
"Aren't you embarrassed to go for so many helpings?" asked his wife.
"Not a bit," Horace replied,
"I keep telling them it's for you."

Unfortunately I don't think I am cut out for a job like that. – К сожалению, я не думаю, что я создана для такой работы.

Oh, that’s ok, I’m not cut out for this line of work anyway. – Ox, все хорошо, я не подхожу для такого типа работы в любом случае.

cut out for something – быть созданным для чего-то (о человеке), подходить для какой-то работы или дела

несколько примеров в контексте:

After Bill ended up in a hospital with a few broken bones was crystal clear that I wasn't cut out for extreme sports. – После того как Билл попал в больницу с переломами, стало совершенно ясно, что он не создан для экстремальных видов спорта.

Some of my classmates seem to be cut out for learning a foreign language, and Joe and Sue are two of them. – Некоторые из моих одноклассников были словно созданы для изучения языков и Джи и Сью были одними из них.

What are you cut out for?

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office.
Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor,
"Can I help you?"
The man said,
"Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

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Out of stock
A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer,
"No, madam, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon."
Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said,
"That isn't true, madam. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago."
Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled,
"Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?"
The clerk smiled and said…
"Rain…"

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The owner of a large factory decided to make a surprise visit and check up on his staff. Walking though the plant, he noticed a young man leaning lazily against a post.
"Just how much are you being paid a week?" said the owner angrily.
"Three hundred bucks," replied the young man.
Taking out a fold of bills from his wallet, the owner counted out $300, slapped the money into the boy's hands, and said
"Here's a week's pay — now get out and don't come back!"
Turning to one of the supervisors, he said "How long has that lazy bum been working here anyway?"
"He doesn't work here," said the supervisor. "He was just here to deliver a pizza!"

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Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral.
"Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls Royce," the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000.
Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back.
"That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest," the loan officer said. The man wrote out a check and started to walk away.
"Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone I learned that you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?"
The man smiled. "Where else could I park my Rolls Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"

- He's been with Kingdom for over a decade. Long haul, mainly.
- Too long in the tooth to know this won't be going unnoticed.

- Он с авиакомпанией "Киндом" больше десяти лет. Дальние перелеты в основном.

- Достаточно стар и опытен, чтобы понимать что это не будет не замечено.


to be too long in the tooth - быть старым, опытным, искушенным, в годах


Иногда это выражение используется иронично и может относится не только к человеку.


Grandpa is too long in the tooth to keep up with all the latest technology trends. - Дедушка уже немного староват, чтобы поспевать за последними техническими новинками.


The car still runs, but it's getting too long in the tooth to be reliable for long road trips. - Машина еще ездит, но все-таки она уже старовата для дальних поездок.


I need a new phone as mine is getting quite long in the tooth. - Мне нужен новый телефон, мой уже устаревает.

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles.
One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon.
Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."
"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "as long as I can sell the car."
"Okay," said her friend. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."
The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. Two weeks later the friend asked her, "Did you sell your car?"
"No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"

Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in.
While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc.
While this is going on lawyer number one jams something in lawyer number two's hand.
Without looking down, lawyer number two whispers, "What is this?"
To which lawyer number one replies, "It's that $50 I owe you."