When at the restaurant my food is overcooked, i feel like yelling at the waiter. I feel like murdering the chef but all I do is stay quiet. When someone misbehaves I feel like slapping them but I talk politely. When I am being blamed for no reason I want to take a mic and announce I'm innocent but I apologise.
When I fail, I want to lie on my bed and end my life.
I spend my days making myself acceptable.
Trying to fit in.
And that's okay,
Because then, when I talk to you-
I get to experience the world the way I feel it.
The indescribable rage and unbearable sadness, huge passion.
I get to kill the chef and dance on his grave.
I get to slap everyone who misbehaved and you punch them with me too.
I take the mic and tell you I was innocent and you forgive me.
You tell me I'm enough. You tell me I'm beautiful, you tell me I'm worthy, you put life in me.
I would lose myself if I lose you.
If all I have left is a life of making myself trying to fit in, a life without you in it, then I don't wanna live. Come back to me when I will be at the verge of giving up.