Years ago I had this neighbor,Jerry, he was into forex and was doing well for himself.Jerry was a serial player. It was impossible to keep track of the number of women that visited him so I just stopped memorizing their names and called them ‘our wife’
I liked him cos he’s funny, jovial and not proud despite the small change he had. Infact, most nights he took me clubbing and usually declared in the compound whenever he hits a major deal, which was often. My girlfriend hated him & anytime she was around, I would act like I disliked him too & stay away until he noticed. So, whenever my babe was around, he kept his distance.
One morning I was withJerry when one of the married men in the flat came out & immediately…
Jerry raised his hands up and shouted, “Senior man sir, respect sir good morning sir!”
The guy laughed then came over to greet us, and after he left, I turned to Jerry and said Jerry, woy3 bi, why you greet Mr Kenneth like that? He laughed & said that he has to give honor to whom honor is due. I was lost so I asked him to explain
He said the guys wife is very sweet, too sweet infact, so he respects the guy cos of what he enjoys every day
“How do you know she’s very sweet?” I asked confused
He now told me that he knacked the guys wife last night so he has to show the guy respect cos it’s not easy to chop that sweet thing everyday & not have diabetes
I was stunned, Mr Kenneth is a doctor & works night often & the wife is very holy, always praying & going to church.
The following weekend, we were outside drinking when our caretaker passed and immediatelyJerry jumped up
“Senior man sir, respect sir, Good afternoon sir.”
The caretaker smiled and came over. Jerry ordered drinks for him and he took them and left, smiling… Wait Jerry , no tell me say you knack caretaker wife too.” I asked in disbelief
“Haaa, no nah, I no bad like that.”
I laughed in relief “Omo I for fear you”
“Na him daughter I knack” he simply added
My mouth stayed open for some seconds…
He laughed & gisted me about how sweet the girl was. Few days later we drove out together in his Benz and as we got to the gate, the security man came out and right inside the car Jerry screamed
“Senior man, sir, respect sir, Good evening sir.”
“My oga, no whine me. Na u be sir.” The security man said smiling whileJerry reached into his glovebox & handed him some cash
As we drove off I asked Guy, even our security too? So, who u knack for him family this time, wife or daughter?”
“Younger sister” He said with a grin
The day I knew I had to start avoiding him was when he invited me to his church. After service he took me to greet the pastor and as soon as we got into his office,Jerry screamed
“Senior man, sir, respect sir, Good morning Pastor sir.” The pastor laughed then thanked him for the special seed. I couldn’t concentrate throughout the meeting and after we left, I asked him
“Jerry, your pastor, who, his daughter or choir mistress?”
He smiled and said his wife.
Ah, u slept with ur pastors wife? If he could sleep with his own pastors wife, who is safe. Thank God my babe hated him so I knew I had to cut off. This guy was a menace, a penidemic!
I travelled for 3 days for a work trip…
but we finished very early on the second day & so I came back to Lagos afterwards.
As I entered the compound, I sawJerry’s car parked at its usual spot. I knew he would want us to go out once he sees me & I didn’t want to.
So, I called my babe to come over. At least if she’s around he’ll avoid me while I planned how to also avoid him
As I was still on the call with her,Jerry stepped outside his room and Immediately he saw me, he screamed…
“Senior man sir, respect sir, welcome sir!”
Immediately, my phone dropped from my hand in shock and thenJerry screamed, “Yeee, I don fu<k up!” Quickly he entered his room while I stood outside shaking yet unable to move from the spot.
The End