🔥Embers from Ash🌻

I love this little girl so much!! 🤣🤣"Absolutely Not". I heard that one in my own voice 🤣🤣

It sounds to me as though you have an entirely accurate read on this situation. This is a greater, far-spread problem than I'd ever really grasped until recently. It is rife in our lives, and we even do a degree of this internally as well, particularly when it comes to gaslighting ourselves over certain behaviours in people.

This is being fixed, I'm certain of that, it is beginning on the level that you describe here, with the familial dynamics... more and more of the scapegoats are finding their voices. Will it extend beyond that in this 'awakening wave'? I don't know, really it doesn't matter from our individual standpoint. We can only deal with the things that are in our control, in our ability to influence - and with the narcissist dynamic, that is only ourselves.

This is all connected together with the other thing that are entering our expanding awareness in these times. It is a part of this awakening wave. We shall have to wait and see whether that will penetrate the layers beyond our own... but this is important to understand - in times gone, we may never have come to these realisations - communities and society at large is rife with it. It is everywhere that we look.

The first step is just as you are doing, Ash. Or maybe that isn't quite right in light of this greater connection. Perhaps it would be more accurate to suggest that EVERYTHING that has happened in your life has led to this. This seems to fall into that category of the generational 'curses' that we are here to break.

So much love to you. I have some idea of how this and what you must be going through - never the same but there is common ground here. You are such a fighter, and you have every right to feel proud of how far you have come already - we all do... brothers and sisters of sorrow

Steve is responding to this.

And yes...I agree. Funny enough I was explaining this to my husband last night too.

If you have been entangled with a TRUE narcissist, chances are you've had narcissistic behavior and thought-forms normalized.

And unless you recognize them as narcissistic behaviors, you might inadvertently grow to emulate them yourself. Especially in moments of pain or distress. In fact, most of us will and do.


And what Steve pointed out and how even one of the world's leading experts Dr. Ramani Durvasula breaks it down --

A key difference between someone who IS a narcissist and someone who has been emulating narcissistic behaviors.... Is the degree in which a person is able to self reflect, make amends and take ownership.

A narcissist cannot. They will deflect, project and re-direct. The MIGHT be able to stretch themselves from time to time (like a rubber band) to make it SEEM like they have grown or taken accountability -- but really it becomes clear over time that even that temporary demonstration of growth was really a game, a con, a Facadé to get the result they wanted.

They may get to a point where they can apologize. But there will be so many signs that they don't actually mean it and that they don't actually see what they did wrong. The apology or resolution is to ease things over because it benefits them to do so, and nothing more.


It is important to understand. It is important because for someone who is ensnared in a narcissists web, usually the path to resolution with them means giving them what they want. Otherwise, the conflict, the unresolved issue, remains unchanged. YOU are the one who is required to bend, to reach peace.

Over time, this erodes your sense of Self.

You learn to anticipate more moments of their aggression or agitation and you begin fitting the mold they need you to. This is a dangerous line to walk and it can manifest as a variety of diseases the further you walk away from your Self in an effort to keep peace with them.

It's not Always possible to simply go no-contact with a person like this. But it is helpful to build and maintain a strong core Self who sees the truth for what it is and who is prepared and ready and willing to protect themselves however needed.

Firstly, we have to make a distinction between Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and narcissistic behaviour... because as a personality trait, what you and so many others is spot on and correct... and something that I have said many times over the years myself.

I make the distinction because it is possible for people in fear mindset to emulate many of the individual behaviours, projection, gaslighting are great examples... and there can be a tendency, particularly now in the social media world, particularly with interwebs relationships for people (recently saw a stat that now 60%+ of couples first meet online these days 🤯) to hold a single thing up and wave it another person's face, saying "See! See! Narcissist!" - often explaining away and avoiding larger dynamics at play.

A single red flag does not equal and unsavable soul... more often than not, in my experience, many people can display individual traits of narcissism without falling into the bracket of being a narcissist.

If anyone is reading this and questioning themselves, then this demonstrates a capacity for self-reflection.

And it is this capacity, or lack of, that means that if you are dealing with a genuine narcissist - then it is extremely rare, if it is even possible at all, for a genuine narcissist to 'recover' - GTFO


What may happen in the Golden Age future of humanity... who knows - I will not rule it out, who am I to place such limits on what any of us are (or will be) capable of on that path.


However there are other things to be aware of if you are dealing with a narcissist - ESPECIALLY in a family situation, and that is the dynamic that is created around the narcissist. I am aware that many of us here have fallen into the bracket of doormat - we need to research and learn how to deprogram from that behaviour. There is also the enabler... and unfortunately, if you are cutting off/ stonewalling your narcissist (please don't take ownership of them 😁), then likely the enabler shall require the same.

This dynamic is so messy, it is something that we absolutely MUST heal, not only as individuals, but as a species, out in the macro, in order for us to truly step into that future. Your part is to do your own healing. You are not responsible for anyone else's healing - the only way that you could possibly heal others is to heal yourself, to elevate, and to become the example.