purefection_

and the last one

I’ve always lived with hope for the best deep in my heart
I’ve always believed that sooner or later, I’ll be happy

I’m slow to gain momentum and move toward my goals, but I haven’t given up yet
that’s why I’m very proud of myself and my journey, no matter how difficult or uncertain it may have been

yes, sometimes I think about how it might be a good idea to go back and make good money again

I know that people really love sex and emotional intimacy - they need it
they pay models very well they are ready to buy toys to feel good, ready to buy paintings of nude people to admire and enjoy
the sex industry has become a successful and profitable field

but at the same time, I look back and see how much I’ve already done to leave that job behind and how I continue to push forward
that keeps me where I am now

last month I worked around 190 hours across two jobs
I did it as an experiment and of course as a way to earn money, especially since one of these jobs was completely new to me

I put in a lot of effort and dedicated a lot of time to it
I can’t say this is the life I’ve always dreamed of, but I can say that step by step, I’m finding the place where I would feel comfortable enough to settle down and start fully realizing myself

one year ago, I couldn’t even imagine that I would be where I am now
but I’m happy that I’m no longer working on webcam sites

as I said before: “I can’t promise that I will never go back,”
but I really want to believe that it won’t be necessary, and I’ll be able to continue my life without returning to that job

when I started working on webcam sites, I was only 19 years old - a little girl
for about four years, I worked there and thought it was my destiny
I believed I was meant to be there
I thought my mission was to work in that industry: to be the best model for people, to support them, and to create special aesthetic shows that allowed me to express my desires and potential

but the more I grew up, the more I matured, the less I wanted to stay in that world
and I knew - I could have stayed there as a non-nude model, but I didn’t want to