Mental health and UPSC
UPSC is a hard journey in different ways for different people. It tests your fortitude and pushes you to work on good days, bad days and some unbearable days too. Almost everyone feels emotions that are hard to feel, at some point in their UPSC journey. There is uncertainty, loneliness, fear of failure, emotional vaccum, stress, self doubt and what not. With Mains approaching, these emotions get heightened.
Many people feel that if only they could clear the exam, get their first preference, get their home cadre, get this or that... they might be happy again. There's different levels to what people want for their happiness. To some extent, the day you achieve some of your goals, there is a relief. There is some security. You might even confuse this relief for happiness for a few days. There is a lot of noise, sweets and calls.
When the crowd disperses, on introspection, some might find a certain guilt. Clearing UPSC does NOT solve all your problems. That is almost a no brainer. You feel guilt about not feeling happy because what more could you want. Nobody wants to be ungrateful and complaining. If you are brave enough, you might mention that you don't actually feel happy but more than often these feelings get invalidated. There's scores of people telling you that you should just try to be more positive. It is made to be a "YOU" problem.
Maybe that is true, maybe it is not. It is important to be grateful in life. It is equally important to look at problems and work towards finding a solution. Positivity is a great virtue, it keeps you going even when the going gets hard.
However, this is not about a probable solution that I might have for this problem. I am not here to tell you that it will get better. I am not even here to scare you that it will not get better. This is not a justification nor a denial of any behaviour. Neither is this an encouragement to argue that your happiness is a choice that you can make. It is none of these things.
This is just an acknowledgement that all these emotions that you are feeling are fine. It's okay to be sad. Don't feel sad about feeling sad.
Your emotions are valid and even if you feel like you have nobody, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
